Job Rejection No. 6

Saw an internship available at an editorial agency that deals with copy-writing, and one of the requirements was having good pop culture knowledge. Even though I didn't have some of the skills they were after, based on that requirement alone, I decided I had to go for it. I know so much useless celebrity knowledge it would be a shame not to put it to good use.

I tried to make my covering letter entertaining, or at least a little humorous, so I told them I’d done a survey on whether people would hire me, and that there was a 100% ‘yes’ response. Then in a small footnote I wrote ‘Survey comprised of two people’. HA HA HA hilarious, I know. I’d been waiting ages to squeeze that into a covering letter.

I also managed to get ‘wink wink’ in italics no less into the covering letter, I told them my brain was a sponge, and I reassured them that even though I don’t know how to use Photoshop, I am a whiz at Paint and therefore equally qualified. I then ended it on a sentence that claimed hiring me was a prophecy.

Hmm, as I write this analysis in a now unbiased manner, I do realise that what I submitted comes across so much more desperate and crazy than it did at the time. Argh, why do I write such weird covering letters?? Maybe..maybe it’s because it’s so soul destroying spending ages creating a loving, complimentary covering letter, only to get rejected time and time again; it’s safer just to make a joke one, in the hopes they have a sense of humour, rather than cry into my pillow at night with chocolate cake smeared around my mouth, doubting my self-worth.

Anyways, the final requirement was a 200 word review of a TV show. I chose to do it on Countdown. What’s not to like about that?! Who are these people!? Too good for Countdown eh?

(I've been meaning to write a blog entry about Countdown for a while actually so I’ll get started on that and hopefully show you all the wonders of this magical show).

Overall they must've picked someone else because they never got back to me. I find it really impolite when companies don’t get back to you. You take the time to fill out their application, write them a letter and whatever other twisted tasks they want you to do, then they don’t have the decency to give you a yes or no reply. Drives me mad. I begin to get a bit paranoid and start checking my Spam and Junk mail, and seeing if I put my email address down correctly. I'm like a sad, old, crazy, cat lady who waits by the phone. It’s definitely been way too long now not to receive any correspondence so I can add that application to my growing list of rejections.

I really should send them a blank email with just this attached:

The irony being that they didn't even send me one...

It's fine though, I'd rather wait a long time for the right job, than get one now and realise it's a mistake.

P.S- I have a strong need to clarify the fact that I don’t cry into my pillow at night doubting my self-worth- that imagery was purely for your entertainment purposes. Mmm cake.